Far away in Israel...: Not Being Afraid To Try

It's been a good week! We went to Caesarea and Zichron Yaakov as a day trip. It was eye opening to see a side of Israel that isn't at the top of the list of most important places to see in Israel. It was also a place that had much more Roman and Greek influences than Jewish. What's so incredible though is realizing that wherever you go, you are looking at thousands of years of history. Thousands of years! The stones and structures have been there before we even had countries in the way we have now. Before America was even on the radar. It really is extraordinary to be able to witness history and learn from it.

We had two amazing farbrengens where we sang and talked into the night (I also happen to be more tired this week than any other). The girls here are so inspiring. I feel like I've made so many friends from so many countries and walks of life. As the days go by, I'm overcome with the realization that I really don't want to leave, both for the people, the learning, and the land.

Israel and seminary has profoundly changed the person that I am. It's a time for personal growth that is so unique in its nature. Everything you learn can change the way you see the world. It can take all that you thought was true and turn it upside down (is a rock really a rock?) or inspire you by deepening how you understand the world and how Gd runs it.

That said, I think the most profound shift in attitude is the lesson that the journey is not just a means to any particular end. The path that you follow, with the twists and turns, is what actually matters. Not so much where you end up (though evidently it does still matter, just in a different way).

I think we often have challenges in life that seem impossible, but when we take that first step, we realize that they are only as hard as we make them out to be. I've learnt at Mayanot that you should never be afraid to try. One of the most difficult but rewarding classes is our Chassidus class. We learn directly from one of the previous Rebbe's maamers (specifically Heichaltzu). What does that mean? It means that we're looking at a deep and philosophical text that provides life lessons, but takes a long time to get there. The class is always split into two (time to struggle with the text and time to bring it all together).

And the struggle is real. You're looking at tiny little Hebrew letters, no nekudot (vowels), abbreviations abound, and trying to make sense of a text that is already complicated enough. It's also important to note that these struggles are just as real with big letters, nekudot, and no abbreviations.

So, what do you do? You leave your ego at the door.

You make the conscious decision to do your best even if that means that you will barely get through one sentence, look up every single word, and be ok with the idea that at the end of the day, you may still not understand. We predispose ourselves to think that if we are inevitably going to fail or not understand, why try at all? If you know that the end result will be not be what you want, does that mean you shouldn't try? The reality is that no matter what you've gotten from what you've learnt, it's not a failure. The process itself is what matters. And that's how you learn.

That doesn't mean that it can't be frustrating, but attitude is everything. And when you do 'get it', it's so much more meaningful because of the hard work you invested in it.

So, my blessing to all of us is that we all be able to have the courage to tackle our challenges and to try, even if the result isn't always satisfying or tied up with a pretty bow.

Shabbat Shalom!

Glossary

Chassidus: Chassidus (in my eyes) is a way of looking at the Torah and its inner dimension. It looks at the soul and provides a guide as to how to live your life in a way that is focused on joy and unity with Gd. There's probably a better definition somewhere than mine, but that's how I understand it.

Maamer: Chassidic/spiritual discourse given over by a Rebbe (spiritual leader). This might help: http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2905524/jewish/What-Is-a-Maamar.htm